The setting: a soundstage located somewhere in the theater of the mind.
The famed Voice That Sold A Million Baby Chicks Over Border Radio, TEXAS
BIX BENDER, steps up to the microphone, while RIDERS IN THE SKY (TOO SLIM, The
Man of Many Hats, WOODY PAUL, The King of the Cowboy Fiddlers, and
RANGER DOUG, The Idol of American Youth, accompanied by their orchestra,
under the direction of the Maestro of the Stomach Steinway, JOEY "THE
COW POLKA KING") begin playing the Riders Radio Theater theme behind
him...
TEXAS BIX:
And now, RIDERS RADIO THEATER presents the ongoing saga of "The Cowboy
Way." Tonight...
(At this point, TEXAS BIX is rudely interrupted by two young rabbits.
The blue one, BUSTER BUNNY, and his co-host, a pretty pink girl, BABS
BUNNY, begin singing the theme song from their TV series.)
BUSTER and BABS:
(Singing) "We're Tiny/We're Toony/ We're... "
(Suddenly noticing their surroundings, and TEXAS BIX)... Who are you?
TEXAS BIX:
I'm Texas Bix Bender, The Voice That Sold A Million Baby Chicks Over
Border Radio. And you are... ?
BUSTER:
I'm Buster Bunny...
BABS:
And I'm Babs Bunny...
BUSTER and BABS:
(In unison)... No relation!
BABS:
(Somewhat miffed) And what are _you_ guys doing here? This is the TINY
TOON FAN FICTION website!
TEXAS BIX:
Well, since you asked, we have a work order to show up here for the next
13 months. We're doing an internet radio serial here.
BABS:
(Indignantly) Not on OUR web page, you're not!
(At this point, RANGER DOUG attempts to placate her.)
RANGER DOUG:
Babs, Babs, Babs...
BABS:
(Still indignant) What, what, what???
RANGER DOUG:
I take it you guys are supposed to be appearing in a story at this spot
on the internet?
BABS:
Yeah, so?
RANGER DOUG:
Well, how about we share the spotlight? We can just rewrite this serial
to include you guys in it.
(At this point, TOO SLIM and WOODY PAUL throw their two cents in.)
TOO SLIM:
Yeah, and we can't rewrite, we'll make up something on the spot.
WOODY PAUL:
Yeah! It sure wouldn't be the _FIRST_ time...
BUSTER:
I hear _that_... okay, I'm in if you are, Babs.
RANGER DOUG:
Well, Babs? What do you say?
BABS:
(Mulling it over) We don't have to take a cut in pay for this, do we?
RANGER DOUG:
No, I don't _think_ so...
BABS:
(Appeased, somewhat) Well, then, what are we waiting for? LET THE SHOW
BEGIN!
************************************************************
(RIDERS RADIO THEATER Serial Theme plays in the background)
TEXAS BIX:
And now, Cyberpals and Toonatics, TTAFF and MAMMOTH RADIO PICTURES
(off the record, naturally) proudly present the SPECIAL ongoing Cartoon/
Cowboy Melodrama, "THE TOONY WAY." This month, Episode One, entitled:
"ONE WRONG TURN DESERVES ANOTHER."
As faithful readers will no doubt recall... there's nothing to recall.
And in the meantime, night is slowly turning into day over Tumbleweed
Valley, and the famed old Harmony Ranch, home of America's Favorite
Cowboys, RIDERS IN THE SKY. And in Tumbleweed Valley, it's been quiet.
TOO quiet. But soon enough, that quiet will be forever disturbed in a
way that... but, that's getting ahead of our story. Anyway, on this
morning, as countless mornings have done for centuries on end in
Tumbleweed Valley, dawn breaks...
(SFX: Breaking glass)
...the sun also rises...
(SFX: Slide whistle)
...and three heroic singing cowboys, who have just proven their
heroism by eating another breakfast prepared by their cook and sidekick,
SIDEMEAT, take their post-breakfast stroll around famed old Harmony
Ranch as they prepare to face another working day...
"Say, Ranger Doug," said the bespectacled, mustachioed bass player
known far and almost-near as "Too Slim", "it's sure been quiet here in
Tumbleweed Valley."
"Yeah," agreed the King of the Cowboy Fiddlers (and Doctor of Nuclear
Science), "Woody Paul", "_too_ quiet."
"I'm quite aware of that," said the tall, stoic Idol of American
Youth, "Ranger Doug". "But I have this feeling that soon enough, this
quiet will be forever disturbed in a way that... "
"Ah, if you ask me, I think you're _all_ disturbed," grumbled Side
Meat. "Ever since Slocum and Charlie went up the river at the end of that
last serial, you boys've been as inactive as a dead cow in a heat wave!"
The Riders considered this briefly... very briefly.
"Sidemeat," Ranger Doug said, "forgetting for a moment the disgusting
word picture you've just painted..."
"'Disturbing' is more like it," Too Slim interjected.
"Well, what other kind of word picture would you _expect_ from a
disturbed old coot?" Woody asked sarcastically.
"That's what _I_..." Sidemeat began, then looked crossly at Woody.
"Saaayyyyyy..."
"Boys, boys," Ranger Doug said, "there'll be time for that kind of
acrimony later... _much_ later, I hope... but Sidemeat's right. With Slocum
and Charlie in prison for their crimes against..."
"Who said they were in _prison_?" Sidemeat grumbled. "They went up
the river in that atomic-powered kayak at the end of the _last_ serial!
Mwah-whew!"
"So they did," Ranger Doug replied, "thanks to Woody and his vast
knowledge of nuclear physics."
"Yeah," agreed Slim, "that was a _great_ piece of engineering you
did on that kayak, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow when they
weren't looking and sending it in the opposite direction at 500 m.p.h."
"Well, thanks, Slim, but it was Ranger Doug's Number 4 Yodel that
provided the..." Suddenly, Woody Paul stumbled forward.
"Whoa! Woody, are you okay?"
"Yeah, Slim. I just stepped into this gopher hole."
"Well, you have to _expect_ those, living in the wild, untamed West,"
Ranger Doug said, smiling his trademark dazzling smile.
"Ah, turn off them klieg light teeth! It's too early in the mornin'
for... " Sidemeat griped, just before he, too, stumbled in another gopher
hole. "What the--?"
"Say, where are all these gopher holes coming from, anyway?" asked
Slim.
"Hmmm... taking an educated guess, Slim, I'd say they were made by
gophers," replied the Ranger.
"Oh, you're just a regular fount of information, you are," mumbled
Sidemeat. Suddenly, Slim pointed in front of them.
"Ranger Doug, look! There's another one! And another!! And still
another!!!"
"I see them, Slim... hey, Slim, where are you going?"
Too Slim stopped in his tracks momentarily. "I'm going into the
bunkhouse and get a 20-pound sledgehammer so I can knock those pests
below ground!"
Ranger Doug gave an exasperated sigh. "Slim, is that really something
you want to do? I mean, think about it. These gophers have been part of
this Grand Vista of the West for hundreds of years..."
A stupified look came over Slim. "The _same_ gophers? Wow, they must
be really _old_ by now... "
Ranger Doug gave another exasperated sigh. "I was speaking
metaphorically, Slim... "
"Oh," Slim replied, embarrassed by his own stupidity. Ranger Doug
decided to continue his spiel.
"...and they have just as much right to be here and live free and
undisturbed as the fish in the streams or the eagles in the sky..."
"Say, Ranger Doug," Sidemeat interrupted.
"Not now, Sidemeat. Yes, Slim, I suppose you _could_ take that
20-pound sledgehammer, grip it in your two hands, and send some small,
defenseless furry creatures to eternity, thereby disrupting the balance
of nature..."
"Eh, Ranger Doug," Sidemeat said urgently.
"Not now, Sidemeat, I'm trying to make a point."
"Oh, well, excuse ME, Zane Grey! Go right ahead!" the old geezer said
with an overdose of sarcasm.
"Thank you... ahem... yes, Slim, you could eradicate just a few gophers,
but in the end, what would you really accomplish?"
"Well, for starters," interrupted Woody, "there'd be a few less gopher
holes around here!"
Ranger Doug looked sternly at Woody Paul. "_Thank_ you, Woody..."
Sidemeat decided to give it just one more try. "Say, if you're through
waxin' poetic about them bug-eyed little precious gophers... "
Looking straight to the sky, Ranger Doug sighed, "Yes, Sidemeat, what
_is_ it?"
"Well," grumbled the old coot, "not that it makes no nevermind in th'
grand scheme of things you got lodged in that Grand Canyon between your
ears, but I've been tryin' to tell you that those cutey little gophers you
love so much have just dug up your new horeshoe pitchin' field!"
Ranger Doug stared at Sidemeat. "The one I just had filled with Texas
Sand? The one I just had newly reseeded with Kentucky Bluegrass? _That_
new horsehoe pitching field?"
Sidemeat sneered at the Idol of American Youth. "You got _another_
one around here?" A startled cry from Woody Paul interrupted the banter.
"Ranger Doug--LOOK! They're coming this way!" Woody exclaimed, as a
large burrowing tunnel made its way to where the Riders stood.
"Wow! It's a _BIG_ one!" Slim added.
"My new horseshoe pitching field," Ranger Doug mused, somewhat
disgusted. He wasted no time. "Slim?"
"Yes, Ranger Doug?" asked the diminuitive bass player. A look of
righteous determination was on the face of Ranger Doug, as he spoke slowly
and clearly.
"Hand me that sledgehammer," he said grimly.
Slim was only too happy to oblige. "Here you _go_, Ranger Doug! All
right, now we're going to kick some serious gopher butt!"
Ranger Doug looked askance at the overenthusiastic bass player. "Slim,
we're America's Favorite Cowboys. We don't 'kick some serious gopher
butt.'"
"Oh, sorry," said a chastised Slim, as Ranger Doug took the hammer in
his hands, getting a firm grip and raising it high above his white-hatted
head.
"All right, gopher," challenged the Ranger, "come on up and feel the
power of 20 pounds of forged metal coming at you at full force!" he said
as the tunnel stopped at his feet, a huge hole opened up in the ground, and a
gray-furred creature with long ears and a tremendous overbite emerged, his
gloved paws raised in triumph, just as the sledgehammer was coming down.
"Well, here we are, Gower Gulch at last, an' all da silver an' gold
you kids can pocket," declared Bugs Bunny, oblivious to the peril that was
just a split second away from splitting his skull open. But at the last
possible second, he suddenly shouted, "HEY!!!" And just as though it was being
controlled by an unseen Zen force, the sledgehammer literally screeched to
a halt and froze in mid-air, just inches away from Bugs's head, much to
the astonishment of Riders In the Sky!
"What th--?" The Riders asked. Meanwhile, Bugs looked suspiciously
around him.
"Hey, _DIS_ don't look like no Gower Gulch!" Still not noticing the
suspended sledgehammer, or the startled singing cowboy trio who, try as
they might, just couldn't budge the hammer from its position, Bugs looked
into the hole below him. "Hey, Buster! Lemme see dat map again!" he
yelled, putting on a pair of reading glasses (his only concession to old
age). Almost immediately, a small blue bunny in a red sweater popped up
next to Bugs, a service station road map in his gloved paws. Together, the
two rabbits unfolded the map and studied it intetntly, while The Riders
were torn between trying to dislodge the sledgehammer, or initiating a
conversation with these strange invaders.
"What do you make of this, Woody?" asked Ranger Doug.
Scratching his head, Woody replied, "Well, Ranger Doug, those are
either the two ugliest gophers I've ever seen, or they're a pair of lost
cartoon rabbits."
"Sh," cautioned Buster, "we're trying to concentrate here," as he and
Bugs studied the map even more closely.
"AHA!" Bugs finally declared, pointing to a spot on the map,"_DERE'S_
where we went wrong, I'll bet! I just _KNEW_ we shoulda taken dat left toin at Albeqerque!...
or was it Nogales?"
"Hey! You're Bugs Bunny!" Too Slim shouted enthusiastically.
"Now, Slim, that's impossible," Ranger Doug advised. "You and I both
know that Bugs Bunny is just a cartoon character."
Bugs looked up, slightly annoyed at that remark. Studying the severely
costumed cowboys, he quipped, "An' you guys _ain't_?"
"He's got a point there, ya know," Sidemeat muttered.
"Ranger Doug, what's Bugs Bunny doing in Tumbleweed Valley?" Woody
asked, a puzzled expression on his face.
Ranger Doug appeared thoughtful. "I don't know, Woody, but I don't
_have_ to know. What I _do_ know is... "
"Hey, when do _we_ get to come up?" complained a young female voice.
"This isn't the greatest view in the world!"
"What are you looking at?" Buster asked.
"The tail end of a silly green duck, _that's_ what," the female voice
replied.
"That figures," Buster grinned; and just as he expected, the object
of the below-ground female's displeasure had a few things to say himself.
"Yeah? Well, the view _I've_ had isn't so memorable, either, Babs... "
Bugs and Buster looked at each other and shrugged, before the elder rabbit
took charge of the bickering toons.
"All right, dat's all, folks, ever'body out of da hole!" bellowed
Bugs, and before the Riders could say "Huh?" a pink girl bunny in a yellow
blouse and purple skirt, followed by a small green duck in a white tank
top were now joining the two bunnies above ground.
Babs took one look at her surroundings and frowned. "Hey, what IS
this? Where's the mall?"
Bugs grinned sheepishly. "Well, Babsie, it's like dis... I got some
good news, an' I got some bad news."
"I'll bite," Babs said. "What's the bad news, as if I didn't know?"
"Da bad news is, we ain't in Gower Gulch," admitted Bugs.
"And the good news?" Babs asked skeptically.
"I lied... dere AIN'T no good news." Needless to say, this unpleasant
bit of information did not make Plucky Duck's day.
"Oh, _fine_," he grumbled, "that's just great. Lost in the middle of...
wherever we are. Some summer vacation _THIS_ is gonna be!"
"Now, Plucky," Buster tried to assure him, "our vacation isn't over
yet. Besides, who knows? We might have fun!"
Plucky took a good look at the confused cowboy trio and his surroundings,
and clearly was not convinced. "Yee-ha," he muttered sullenly. But at that
very second, two things happened within a split second of each other that
got the attention of Riders and Toons alike.
"Meow... woof!"
The grizzled old sidekick's sidekick, Sidemeat, didn't even look up.
"The cat's barkin', Ranger Doug... "
"I know, Sidemeat," he replied. That's when Buster's wrist suddenly
began beeping incessantly.
"Buster, your wrist's beeping," Babs noted.
The blue bunny grinned. "I know."
A thoroughly confused Bugs Bunny scratched his head in bewilderment.
"Eh, call me t'oroughly confused, but what's it mean when a _cat_ starts
barkin'?"
"It means we're about to have company," Woody Paul replied. "What's
it mean when a rabbit starts beeping?"
Buster smiled, as he was the only one who knew the answer. "The same
thing... I wondered what was keeping her... " All eyes then turned toward
the road leading up the trail to the entrance of Harmony Ranch, and a
powder blue Chevy S-10 Blazer with matching horse trailer that was
pulling up to the group just a few feet away.
"Say, who's _that_?" asked Woody.
"You'll find out," Bugs said, a broad grin on his face. The truck
came to a stop, the driver's side door opened, a small flight of steps
suddenly descended, and a pair of gray and white rabbits' feet made their
way to the ground below. Attached to those feet were a pair of form-
fitting jeans. Attached above those jeans was a form-fitting pink blouse.
And attached above the blouse was the head of a pretty female bunny, with
a large pink bow tied neatly to a small white tuft of fur located between
her ears. The whole package, when viewed together, was something that made
Bugs's heart beat just a little faster every time he saw her, for this was
none other than his longtime girlfriend (and now bride), the sweetest
bunny in all toondom... a girl known as "Honey." At that same time, the
door on the passenger side opened, and an attractive black teenager got
out. She was dressed in a blue tank top and jeans, tennis shoes, and had
a large yellow ribbon tied around her bouncy ponytail. The two ladies
met at the front of the truck.
"I'll go check on Goldengirl," the teenager told the fembunny, as she
headed toward the horse trailer.
"Thanks, Mary," the bunny replied. "And in the meantime, I'll try to
find out from 'Wrong Way Corrigan' where we are." Smiling, Honey casually
strolled up to the group and looked up sweetly at her taller husband. She
blinked one, twitched her little pink nose twice, and said softly, "Took
a wrong turn at Albequerque?"
Bugs shrugged. "Eh, for all we know it coulda been Nogales."
"Well, wherever we are, it sure isn't Gower Gulch," Buster noted.
Turning his attention to the Riders, he said, "by the way... where _ARE_
we?"
Ranger Doug smiled broadly. "You're at the famed old Harmony Ranch
in... "
"Tumbleweed Valley!" Honey exclaimed, finally noticing America's
Favorite Cowboys, and unable to control her excitement. "I don't _believe_
it! Riders In The Sky!!!"
The toonatics stared blankly at her. "Who?"
"Riders In The Sky," Honey answered. "You remember, Bugsy, I told you
about these guys... "
Bugs scratched his head, trying to remember. "Huh?... oh, _yeah_...
'Too Thin,' 'Woody Harrelson' an' 'Cowboy Bob,' right?"
Honey shook her pretty bemused head. "Sigh... that's Too Slim, Woody
Paul, and Ranger Doug, the Idol of American Youth, Bugsy."
Bugs looked at the Riders, who smiled broadly. Bugs shrugged and looked
back at Honey. "Eh... if you say so... "
Slim also turned his attention to Honey. "Well, at least _you_ know us,
but... who are _you_?"
"Sigh... I get that question a _lot_... my name's Honey Bunny."
Slim stared blankly at her. "You're _kidding_, right?"
"No, Slim, I'm not; and _please_ don't poke fun at my name. That's the
nickname my daddy gave me when I was 3..." Honey then felt an urgent tugging
at the tail of her blouse.
"Psst, aren't you gonna introduce _us_?" Buster whispered.
"Oh, of course. Riders In The Sky, I'd like you to meet Buster Bunny..."
"Howdy, Buster!" the Riders said in unison.
"Howdy, yourself," Buster acknowledged.
"... and this is Babs Bunny," Honey continued, as a way of introducing
the young pink rabbit.
"Charmed, I'm sure," Ranger Doug grinned.
"You _oughta_ be," Babs replied, as if it was expected that they should
be honored by her presence.
"Psst, Babs, although it might seem redundant or obvious in a place
like this," Buster whispered, "rope it in!" Babs simply ignored him.
"Babs and Buster Bunny, eh?" Too Slim asked. "Are you two..."
"No relation!" the young rabbits replied to the question they'd heard
thousands of times before. Of course, Slim didn't know that.
"Hey, how'd you know that's what I was gonna ask?"
"Years of experience," Buster grinned. In the meantime, the other young
girl in the toony entourage was now leading the prettiest Palomino mare
the Riders had ever seen out of the horse trailer, and walking her around
for some much needed exercise.
"And the girl with the horse is Mary Melody," Honey continued.
"Say, Honey, that's quite a fine piece of horseflesh," Ranger Doug
said admiringly.
"Thank you," she replied. "She's a wedding present from Bugsy."
Bugs shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh, she set me back a couple o' thou, but
she's woith it."
"Honey or the horse?" Woody asked.
Bugs considered the question briefly. "Eh, it's a toss-up." Honey
shot him a less-than-pleased look.
"Hey, what am I, pate?" grumbled Plucky.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Honey apologized. "And _this_ is... Plucky Duck."
Too Slim and Woody Paul looked at each other, then looked at the duck,
then looked back at each other... and then the two of them burst out
laughing.
"'Plucky Duck'?!?!?," Slim howled, "is that for _real_? Oh, that's
rich! Hee hee hee hee... "
"Yeah, that's a _hoot_," Woody agreed, "say, what'd you do to get a
name like that, lose an election bet?"
Plucky was not enjoying this at all. "Yippee-ti-yi-yo to you too,"
he muttered.
Ranger Doug attempted to restore some semblance of order. "Slim,
Woody, now that's not very nice... " Slim and Woody, however, were
laughing so hard that tears were rolling down their faces, much to
Plucky's growing chagrin.
"Yah, Ranger Doug," Slim howled, gasping for breath, "but come on,
I mean... snort... 'Plucky Duck'???" More helpless hooting and howling
followed.
Ranger Doug looked sternly at his comrades. "Boys, that's terrible!"
he admonished. "After all, _none_ of us have a say in what names we get...
and it's certainly (choke) nothing he could help (giggle)... I mean (tee-
hee)... there could be a lot worse things in life than having a name like
(finally unable to control his own oncoming hysterics)... 'Plucky Duck'!"
And the normally stoic Idol of American Youth joined his fellow Riders
in loud howls of laughter. "PLUCKY DUCK??? Oh, man, what a handle!!!"
Ranger Doug laughed helplessly. Plucky was now even less impressed.
"Well, I'm glad to know that my name offers you guys some amusement
in life," he grumbled. "I'll bet this place turns into a regular giggle
festival whenever someone mentions Hopalong Cassidy!"
All of a sudden, an eerie silence replaced the howls of derisive
laughter, as the cowboy trio swiftly circled the hapless green duck and
stared him down. "The next time you say that, you'd better be smiling,"
Slim said grimly.
Plucky laughed nervously, sweating bullets. "Heh-heh-heh... sure,
sure, I'm smiling, see?"
Honey arched her eyebrows slightly, and through half-closed eyes,
said softly, "Cool it."
All at once, the Riders stood up, smiled, and said "Okay," and then
tried to figure out what had just happened. They weren't the only ones.
"Hey, how'd you _do_ that?" Buster asked, also bewildered.
Smiling her coyest smile, Honey shrugged. "I do it," she replied
matter-of-factly. With order restored, Ranger Doug turned toward Bugs.
"So, what brings you to Tumbleweed Valley, Bugs?"
"Well, Doc, we was s'posed ta be on our honeymoon, Honey an' me... "
"And you brought the kids along?" a puzzled Woody asked.
Bugs could only scratch his head. "Yeah... dat part's got me a little
puzzled, too. I _still_ ain't figgered out why dey're along."
"So we could learn something for show & tell?" Babs offered.
"Babs, please," Buster replied with a sigh.
"Anyways, we got lost an' wound up here... which reminds me," Bugs
said, suddenly turning to Honey, "how'd _you_ find us?"
"Remind me to tell you some time," she grinned slyly.
"Well, Bugs, I wish we could help you, but we've never heard of
Gower Gulch," the Ranger admitted.
"Say, Buster," Babs prodded, "what _was_ that beeping you were doing
before Honey pulled up, anyway?" Buster looked at Honey, who nodded her
'okay'.
"Oh, _that_," he grinned. "Honey gave it to me before we took off
from Acme Acres. It's a homing device. She must've known Bugs'd get us
lost."
Bugs looked with great displeasure at his protege. "I _resent_ dat
remark."
"Do you deny it?" asked Babs.
"Noooo... .I jus' _resent_ it," Bugs replied.
Ranger Doug suddenly brightened. "Say, I have an idea."
"Quick, have another one before it dies of loneliness," Plucky
grumbled. Ranger Doug ignored him and addressed the other toons.
"Since you're here, you might as well enjoy some good old fashioned
Western hospitality. You're welcome to be our guests at Harmony Ranch!"
Honey beamed excitedly and pleaded with Bugs. "Oh, Bugsy, could we?
Please?"
Bugs considered Honey's request. "Well, I don't know... "
Honey looked up at him with those beautiful deep darker-than-dark
chocolate brown eyes, and pleaded again. This was something she'd longed
to do for some time, apparently. "Oh, please please please, Bugsy? I mean,
I've always loved these guys, I've been a card-carrying member of their
fan club for years, I've got all their albums... " The enthusiasm she had
for America's Favorite Cowboys rivaled those of the bobby-soxers of another
era, and and seeing Honey uncharacteristically swooning over these guys
brought a slight smile to Bugs.
"Hold it, Duchess, you're startin' ta sound like a droolin' fanbunny,"
he chuckled. Suddenly, Slim came to attention.
"Honey Bunny! Of _course_! I should've recognized that name! You're
one of our oldest 'Junior Saddlepals'!"
"I'm only 30," Honey stated softly.
"I think he meant that in terms of longevity," Ranger Doug smiled.
Honey returned to her pleading. "Please, Bugsy, have I ever begged
you for _anything_?"
Bugs rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm... well, not since da _last_
time ya begged me fer somet'in, no... "
"And besides," Honey continued softly, "the last time we were in
Gower Gulch, I... didn't exactly have a good time." Bugs adopted a grim
expression and instinctively wrapped his arms protectively around her,
as if he were shielding her from some unseen harm that had befallen her
in her recent past.
"I know, Baby Doll... I remember... " he whispered. Then, turning his
attention to the toonatics, he said, "Well, kids, ya don't mind if we
stick around here for a few days 'til we get our directions straight, do
ya?"
Buster shrugged good-naturedly. "Sure, I don't mind. Babs?"
The pink bunny smiled slightly. "Okay... but there'd better be a
_mall_ somewhere around here... "
"T'anks, Babsie," Bugs chuckled. "Mary?"
Mary Melody shrugged and smiled. "Sure, why not? How often do I get
to go anywhere with you guys, anyway?"
Honey looked up at Bugs, hope filling her eyes. "Well, Bugsy?"
Bugs grinned. "Okay, Hon, toin off da automatic pleadin' device. I
guess it won't hoit anyt'ing if we stick around here for awhile wit'...
wit'... say, who'd you say dese guys were again?"
"Riders In The Sky," the cowboy trio reminded him.
"Oh, yeah," Bugs replied, "'Too Stale,' 'Woody Woodbury' an'
'Lariat Sam,' right?"
"Ummm... not _quite_, Bugs," Ranger Doug replied. Plucky was still
grumbling.
"I notice nobody asked _me_," he griped.
"Doesn't matter, Plucky, you'd've been outvoted anyway," Buster said,
smiling. "Who knows? This really might turn out to be fun after all!"
"Yeah," Babs added. "And besides, Gower Gulch'll still be there when
we leave here, wherever here is."
Honey, meanwhile, had just been made the happiest rabbit/Saddlepal
the world. "Thank you, Bugsy," she cooed, giving Bugs an ultra-vapor lock
kind of kiss that only she was capable of. Then turning to Plucky, she
said, "Cheer up, guy... I mean, with America's Favorite Cowboys around,
what could possibly happen?"
********************************************************
(Accordion sting)
TEXAS BIX:
What could happen, indeed? Is Plucky's attitude justified, or is
he just in need of a good old fashioned dope slap? Will Bugs Bunny
ever get the names of our heroes right? And what ever _DID_ finally
become of Slocum and Charlie, anyway? Well, you won't learn the
answers standing in the checkout line thumbing through America's #1
source of information, "The Weekly World News," but you WILL find
them right here, same time, same webspace, in Episode 2 of "The
Toony Way," entitled...
(Music sting)
"BY THE WINK OF AN EYE AND THE PRICK OF MY THUMB,
SOMETHING _STUPID_ THIS WAY COMES."
It's pulse-pounding, breath-taking, mind-numbing Cowboy/Cartoon
Melodrama you WON'T want to miss, and it's coming only to THIS...
Internet of the mind!
(Music out)
THE LAWYERS MADE US DO IT DEPARTMENT:
"RIDERS IN THE SKY," and all related characters and trademark elements
pertaining to Riders In The Sky are Copyrighted (c)1997, Riders In The Sky.
All rights reserved.
"LOONEY TUNES," "TINY TOON ADVENTURES," and all related characters
and trademark elements pertaining to Looney Tunes and Tiny Toon Adventures
are Copyrighted (c)1997, Warner Bros., Inc., a Time Warner Company.
All rights reserved.
Story (c)1997, Lee M. Withers.
This story is an original work of fan fiction, and is not meant to be
taken as canon. No claim is made by the author on the rights or
copyrights of above-mentioned characters. That just wouldn't be The
Cowboy Way.